Day 5

No aches and no pains, the physical part of withdrawl seems to be over. Just went to the eye doctor. John's appointment was the one before mine, so he waited for me to get out so we could at least spend five minutes together...drat his having to work through lunch all the time of late so we don't get home at 7:30. Anyway, I'm glad he stayed, the Russel's store next door to the doc has the most delicious chocolate cake..love 'em and ever since I saw the Dolly Madison truck with zingers, chocolate cake etc. on it this morning I've been seriously craving chocolate cake. Therefore so that I don't sit here thinking about all the yummy chocolate goodies within a 1/2 blocks distance I'm going to write them down and see if that helps:

Brownies from the Wall Street Deli
Brownies from three sisters
Chocolate cake at Russles
Well there's the normal chocolate M&M's etc in the vending machine downstairs, as well as across both streets at Russels.
Hot chocolate from Starbucks
Chocolate mint brownies from Statbucks
Chocolate icecream at Russles

Do I feel better? Not yet, but I know that if I can make it through today and then through going to a resturant tonight with friends that I'll be in good shape.

I posted this and then had an insight..I miss eating lunch with John. I don't eat chocolate during the day generally on the days I see him. Chocolate has always been a comfort for loneliness, eat the chocolate don't feel alone. I like it at other times in group situations like birthdays or something..but when I'm lonely I head for chocolate. Depressed is creamy..cheesecake, icecream or pudding. Stressed is candy, especially milkyway bars or twix. Happy is cookies. hmmm...maybe not eating sugar really will make me look at the emotions I've been trying to keep hidden.